Lowlights:
- Feeling like I have to put on a front of pleasantries with the casual "How are you doing? Oh, good... etc." quick hug exchange. Glad that people ask but it certainly isn't the time or place to be real.
- Sorry, pulling out your phone with pictures of your newborn grandbaby is upsetting. So are conversations about painkillers. Random.
- Having even less patience for meetings and people that always have to say something. The longer you talk, the longer we all have to sit here. Frustrated by being worn out by 3 days of meetings then being exhausted by the time I actually have a day to work.
- Having my classroom and other various things at school be so strange... because last I was here I was pregnant and everything about my life was different. Wondering how I can talk about this with my students this year and how that will be. It's the unexpected and unknown that is the worst.
Highlights:
- Starbucks/lunch from friends and real "How are you doing?" chats.
- Offers to cover my classes from colleagues who get it. This is something tangible and useful that I may really need. Grateful.
- Having another person who has experienced this loss say that yes, people say stupid stuff and don't even think about what could be upsetting... and that they just have no idea what it was really like or what you have been through. Can't really blame them- how could they know? At least I'm not the only one who experiences this.
- Honey badger doesn't care. Where have I been all this time?
- Free Ben and Jerry's! "Great things are happening!"
- Gorgeous view of a purple Mt. Hood at dusk with a full moon. I don't know if I'll ever forget that view.
- Making the coolest "learning targets" signs for my room ever. "I know the parts of the macromolecules! Oh, snap!" "I can tell the difference between plant and animal cells! Word."
- "Fried Green Tomatoes" and a spiffy wax seal from my Mommy. I really needed to own that movie! Thanks, Mom. Here's to kick a** women. Here's to survival.
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